Dancing with MYSELF (almost).

Okay, total confession here…I’m not popular.  Yep.  Go ahead and close your gaping jaw, let the shock wear off.  You’re gonna be okay.  If you replied with some bitchy come back, go fuck yourself.  But truth it be.  I generally don’t like most people, and a sizable amount don’t like me much.  More than anything, most just don’t know me.  I guess anyone can say that, I mean how many people does any ONE person know.  But I probably know fewer people than you.

That’s how I like it.

Let me contemporize this a bit to really drive this home: I have 67 Facebook friends.

Yeah man.  I was extremely late to the game on that little cultural gem and only joined when prodded by other family members repeatedly. Of those 67, probably 30 are family.  And I think I have 50 of the 67 fucking blocked on my newsfeed wall-thingy.  I’m not very social with my media.  I’m not very social period.  I talk to like 1 of my neighbors…if I have to.  Vulgarity is usually involved.

Bullshit! I know those grass clippings on my driveway are yours! You piece of shit!

So why the fuck does someone like me have a blog (50 readers! Look out!) and a Twitter account to go with it (approaching 20 followers…almost…maybe by March) ?

2 reasons:

1.) I love hearing myself talk.  I know, I know…fucking shocking.  But how else can you explain why a social introvert with the paltry numbers I got bothers with any of this shit?  I mean, if you’ve been reading The Rant, you understand the “legal” reasons of how this began…but I’ve continued long past that.  I don’t bother with all the social networking shit to get more followers.  I read a couple other people’s blogs that I truly like and make a few comments, but that’s it.  I don’t scratch many backs…so mine remains itchy.  I could probably post pics of me screwing a horse on Twitter and wouldn’t get retweeted by a fucking soul.  But putting my words down just makes me feel good.  It’s a primal scream, I guess.  And I need it.

2.) What few readers I do have are fucking authentic people.  They tend to be people I have a least some kind of sincere connection with.  I know them personally or I interact with them in the web.  I didn’t get them with fake “likes” or glad-handing comments in their blogs or accounts.  I didn’t massage my way into some blogger community where everyone just reads each others blogs like it’s a communal requirement.  I don’t spam or use clever search engine key word algorithms. If I like or comment on your shit, it’s because I liked it.  Not because I’m trying to stroke you into liking my verbal diarrhea too.  I would only expect the same.  If we are reading each other’s posts on Facebook, it’s because we are actually friends.  And if that’s only like 25 people, than so be it.  They’re real.

The younger generations, the 20-somethings and the teens, they are basically plugged into this shit before they even try.  Every single person they know has a blog and a twitter account.  It’s part of their culture.  A 20yr old can open a Twitter account for the fuck of it and have 50 followers by lunchtime without trying.  That’s not to say there aren’t some funny ass kids out there who can seriously write, it’s just….thier audience is almost built-in.  They literally social network in thier sleep-there’s a fucking app for that.

“I Tweet about the changing colors of my toenails due to fungal infection. I have 18,000 followers”

With my peeps, the one’s creeping up on 40, Facebook is for telling people what you had for lunch and posting cat pictures, that’s it.  Twitter is a female body part.

My generation has to pound the digital pavement to get any sizeable following in the web-world, and that just ain’t my style.
Me, I’ll take my 50 readers and be happy.

Thanks fuckers. No, really….thanks.

And if you really want to….you can follow The Rant on Twitter: @Rickranter